K4D Rising #4

[Serenity13]

I don't think I have posted to you before on your post Kevin, I know I have seen you on mine though...

I haven't read your whole post from start to finish I have however read the last few days and while some of the advice is harsh it is correct...

From what I have seen, you are a recovering addict (me to), you are obsessed with your W coming home (I was as well), you put her above everyone including God and your kids (guilty) and you don't take advice very well (same here)...

Guess where that will get you - No where...

About 6 weeks ago I sat in my Pastors office crying like I have never cried before...

I couldn't even catch my breath - Want to know why? I had decided the night before I was done with this life..

If I couldn't have my husband I had nothing and I was ready to end it, instead I found myself in my Church on my knees with my Pastor...

I couldn't even pray at that moment in time...

He prayed for me and stayed on his knees with me until I was done...

He called me into his office afterwards and we talked for quite awhile...

No need to go into the conversation however I see you going down this same path real quick...

At that point I didn't even think about what would happen to my boys - My main focus was my H returning home and if I couldn't have that then I wanted nothing to do with anything/anyone...

WTH kind of Mother was I at that time?

I refocused the next day...

I won't say I don't slip and horrible days because I do - we all do but you have to push towards God and stop pulling the baggage with you...

Go to Church and leave it at the foot of the cross...

Easier said then done because I am very guilty of picking it right back up, but it takes time and you have plenty of that...

Then look towards taking care of you and your kids...Let your W walk this journey on her own.

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
(Isaiah 40:31)

For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance.
(Romans 8:24,25)