Your first paragraph is the one I hear from most mothers I know..it doesn't help, but it's the same old song that's been sung for years. I have accepted this about my H, but my H is/was better than most. H has taken son for the day, has kept him for an entire weekend while I was gone. Last winter H and both sons went icefishing all day, H does take S3 with him into the woods, if he'd keep quiet my H would take him hunting. My H did/does all the things your H does, but I'm okay with that, too. I am of course a lot older than you so when I decided that I wanted a child, it was because we both wanted a child BUT I knew at that time that H wasn't going to be the perfect father, but he is there for the quality time and did help me out when I needed a break.
This probably doesn't help you at all but it makes me realize what a wonderful father my sons both have, if only my H would see that...
I'm with everyone else on the lack of desire thing what is wrong with your H?
