Ok gonna answer then gotta go to work, I have done 5 days at Disney more than once. Are you staying on property?
My favorite restaurant is at the Port Orleans resort. The only one there. And Italy in Epcot is great too. For a 90 pound person, I sure love to eat LOL.
It will probably be too much but only for you. In the middle of the day, when you are exhausted, at the Magic Kingdom, take the boat out to Tom Sawyers Island. It is quiet and you can sit in the rocking chairs and just chill. At Epcot, Spaceship Earth is great for a little sit down action, with no real line, and it is airconditioned. Animal Kingdom just always wears me out, and MGM well, I find it a little boring but if you can get anyone on the tower of terror, it's great. I know you said you love disney so you probably already know all of this stuff.
Boy the stuff I could share. We are only 2 hours away so venture over there a few times a year for a long weekend or two. I could actually write a book about the hidden wonders of Disney, if I had the time.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
How's your son? Are he and H close? I remember reading that you would have to mention H spending time w/him. Teens are a challenge! Having a D18, makes me pray daily that my boys will be easier!!!
So, Unresolved Crisis - when S15 was a toddler. And, Bomb #1 - when S15 was a new teen. And, Bomb #2 - last year
Regarding the OW, did you snoop and find out about them? How hard did you try to get proof that they were not more?
Gosh, your list is interesting. I see snippets of my H in there.
I know what you mean about how you are treated. I have had absolutely no evidence of an OW, and only a few moments of "thoughts" that way, but the treatment is a big indicator of "in, out, or trying to be in..."
My H is an ignorer, too. I could write a five sentence fully loaded email, and/or I could write a novel. No reply. The only time he responds to me is if I fly off the handle (only happened once since I have been DB'ing - since late November, 2008). So, if I don't fly off the handle, I don't know sh*t! Makes for a screwed up existence.
So, what's next, if he's not going to respond? It appears your home is calm, and there aren't a lot of fireworks. I assume you've 180's the issues he complained about... You seem to be a veteran!
Didn't know you posted before. Will go read FG's thread.
It's nice to have supportive buds!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
MB, Mach is smart, funny and kind and he's a man, go figure.
Cat, kudos to you for staying the course.
It really is a journey, this, isnt it? My, what I have learned about myself. And it is true what you say about the ow's. That is not the problem, but a symptom of whatever is going on in their brains.
I thought your comments on the OW and your "gut" were interesting. That is the same thing here. I have snooped and found no evidence of a PA at all (but yes I know I could be way wrong). Short of going through his phone which I haven't done and frankly have lost interest in doing, I have no proof of an EA other than my gut/women's intuition/call it what you will that there was/is anything going on. We have had a discussion (and yes I know they lie) and he claims there was nothing but I also let him know what I felt would be "inappropriate" as far as "friendship" goes, etc. Anyway, I think that if there was/is anything going on it is either over or has cooled off considerably given the changes in the way he is treating me. But really who knows . . .
I embarrassed him when I called OW, her H, their work. Yes I was the embarrassment. Boy I wonder how I must have felt to be prompted to act like that? Ummmm embarrassed and angry?
But that was in my younger not so wise days.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
BM, thanks for stopping by. Keep checking in as who knows what you might find with this group and anyone else that feels like posting.
MB,
Did I snoop? Nope. My H told on himself. The first two times. Well and the second two. Then I snooped. I worked for a PI for a while, so believe me I snooped as much as I could without modern technology. Know what I found? Porn. And cell phone records. That was it. Don't really understand why he hid it but....
But I did do a whole bunch of things wrong. I called OW1, OW 2 and her H and OW 4. Left 3 alone but not really sure why. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat. I just am not the type of person to let sleeping dogs lie in that regard but my reason for calling would be different. It would be to wish her luck for I know the truth. Actually, ow 4, I told her just that. She wasn't the first, probably wouldn't be the last, didn't know what she was getting herself in for and I was going to enjoy watching her learn the hard way. Can we say ANGRY? Now, I would probably just wish her luck. I also let them bother me. I compared myself to them. I tried to imagine what H saw in the that he didn't see in me and tried to become them. Stupid and a mistake because I lost me through all of that. But I am here once more. And more and more each day i am here.
See, I have learned, I don't want to compete with them. I am cute, funny in my own way, very kind and loving, and if that is not good enough for someone, then that is their problem. I like me. I like who I am, and H liked me at one point in our lives too if you can get him when he is human. Sex is sex. It is not making love, it is sex. I really think we all imagine these really romantic rendezvouz between spouse and OP, but I would bet that probably 99% of them are not like that. And even though we all say forsaking all others in our vows, we are all human, and we all make mistakes.
You say endure. Maybe if my H had finished the first time, if we had both learned what we needed to, we wouldn't be here now. But we were not mature enough at that point. H was not ready. I really wasn't either. This time, bomb 1, if I hadn't gotten life and death ill (I actually started preparing for what H would need for S after I was gone), we might be further along. But sometimes I wonder if that was a necessary step for me. H was not ready to drop the bomb when he did. That much I'm sure of. I very much learned through that that certain things had to change in MY life, and I was forced to rely on H at that point in time. I had to learn to be willing to rely on him. So I actually think that bomb 2 was just the next step in the journey.
So what is next? Well, something is shifting. I feel it. I see it. Yes there is mostly calm in our house. H and S used to be close but not so much now. H will figure it out. It is not ideal but it isn't over either. I'm just watching and waiting and being guided. Blessedly guided through this whole mess.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
