Believe me, I have done as much reading as I can to understand this. Unfortunately, I don't find a lot of answers on "How to fix things". I just find out why things are happening the way they are. It helps me understand what's going on, but I have no clue how to fix it.
Oh, sugar, this is why you need some help. You can't "fix it." But you can learn what to expect and how to cope...and what is realistic. I think you do have some hope that with meds she can sort out the rest of her crap, and you can learn how to respond and how to take care of you.
That link is good, there are support sections for people who are working on staying with the person. And some for separating from a disordered person. You might have noticed that it can be a very Alice In Wonderland experience.
