A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[Dia]

Well, I tihnk the hardcore DBing while I've been here in small doses helped immensely. I think H has less of a knee-jerk reaction against me now.

I have been pretty open with FIL about 'things', my desire to reconcile, etc. I also knew that me asking H directly would probably get a negative result. I did not ask FIL to talk to H - FIL agreed, but I confess that I was hoping he would.

Simple truth is, I won't qualify for an apartment at present just on pure math. Rent for a 2 bed place is $1600. $13/hour for 30 hrs a week is.. about $1600. I needed to wait for sheer financial reasons if nothing else and since I can't stay with the D-'s, staying here is the next logical step.

Not sure if that answers your question or not.

I'm ambivalent about it to tell the truth. It raises the stakes considerably. I'm a bit shaken and some fear is creeping in, truth be told.

H was out of sorts this morning, not snarky but a bit withdrawn and preoccupied. He recently re-injured a rotator cuff, though so there's every chance it's not related to me.

I'm driving down south tomorrow to be with the family for the weekend, so that will take some of the pressure off. Also need to get a storage unit so I can ferry some of my stuff into it for the interim.

Oh - an apparently H has planned a sleepover for kidlet and a friend tonight. Here. This means I cannot sleep in the LR.

Gonna be interesting.