Your Galatians 6:9 hit me where it should - right in the old ticker.
HOWEVER (please shoot me down on this if you feel strongly) - in one of the threads JJ had exactly the same problem. He got round this by being totally un-confrontational. But very encouraging. Very small things that the significant other can't see as any sort of threat or pressure (maybe there is pressure - pressure to reciprocate).
And I quote:
Quote:
"Choosing the medium" is an important decision when it comes to contact with your partner. Should it be by phone, text message, face-to-face, e-mail, cards, letters, television ads, sky-writing, etc., etc.? (What are some more possibilities?)
In my situation, my wife had a LOT going on while we were apart from each other. Phone calls didn't work because either it was a bad time, she kept getting interupted, or her phone battery would go dead. E-mail didn't work, because she had no computer access. Face-to-face didn't work because of all that she had going on in her life, and this method usually turned out bad.
One thing that DID work well for me was cards. She always loved the cards I gave to her, because of the things that I would write inside of them. Made her cry almost all of the time (happy tears, btw!). So, I began by sending her cards, some funny, friend type of ones, without all the mushy writing. No OR talk, just hey, how you doing. I sent her 2 cards for her birthday, one from me, one from the dog, both very funny. I also sent her one around the time of an annual trade show of mine that we were both very involved in, telling her my appreciation of the tolerance and enthusiasm she had for how involved I was with this show in years past. I skipped any cards for our anniversary and Valentine's Day.
How did the cards work? Well, pretty good actually. It took over a week for her to acknowledge that she got them, and, even then, it wasn't a huge response. However, after I sent them, she did initiate the contact with me by phone, and made it a point to "make the time" for us to talk a bit. The talks soon began to become more frequent, for a longer duration, and slooowly became much deeper.
What are some more possibilities for "mediums"? What things haven't you thought of, or tried, yet? What small contacts could you do to start the butterfly effect in motion?
So now where do I stand? Try to out-stubborn my W?
Please don't forget - I know her. She's very easily led. Funny that I can get a response out of someone vehemently opposed to me (the "friend") and not my wife. How does doing what I'm doing affect the relationship between the "friend" and I, but not my W. Do I wait until it percolates down into my W's subconscious?
And what caused the reply? A funny DVD given out of the blue because it was funny. Didn't cost a dime.
Please try to explain this to me because I'm at a loss as to why I shouldn't continue with this approach. Which is working. Targeting is a bit off - but it's working.
Is the no contact a rule written in stone? So we both sit on our a$$'s waiting for the other to actually do something. Waiting.
VERY confusing. Open to discussion folks ....... I have a feeling that a lot of people are asking the same thing.
