You sound pretty positive in general, but ouch on the back injury !! You should get that looked at !?? I was thinking about what you said...
Quote:
H is firmly in OW fog at the moment. Everything is new and exciting. New job, new flat (again!), lots of money - he has already spent half of his money from the house in paying off credit cards/ debts and on new toys/ meals, and first class trips to New York for him and OW (glad to see she is paying her way!!). I had to check our bank account to see if my name had been removed and I had a peek. It has made me wholly glad that I have my portion which is still fully intact. If I said the amount he has spent I think many of you would be very, very shocked.
.. your H is 26/27 isnt he? I was given a lot of money at 27, when I took voluntary redundancy. I used some of it to go back to Uni for my future, sure, but the rest, I blew on a new car and a 6 week trip to America, new clothes and music and also, got a new bf at that time (my current one) and it WAS all new and exciting. I think from your description, its not that everythings "new and exciting" in a bad way, but that enjoying his new status and money is probably only natural at his age and also, normal. You talk about it as though he is in "a fog" or unhappy. But the opposite could be true, he could just be enjoying his life and making the most of it whilst he is young? He already did get M and buy a house and has stepped away from that (sorry).. so its not surprising, especially in light of those previous health issues, that he might be happy to just relax, have fun and NOT have responsibilities for now and thats not a bad thing. There would be time for that again later, but no need to rush back in to house ownership/saving/responsibilities etc.
What he is doing doesnt seem unhealthy, or bad, FOR HIM (although I know its hurtful for you). Especially if he now has a better paid job and better earning potential, why not spend some dosh? And dont forget Julia, he still cares about you and I am sure it does hurt him too, what he has done to you and having to get a D. Maybe he wants to blow the equity you made, rather than reinvest it in his future.
I really think, you might do better to drop the rope, really drop it, as in, accept that he is moving on, even if you cant yet move on yourself (very understandable). It might help to not put a negative spin on everything he does. Like I said, from what you post, he doesnt sound that miserable, like in his email? He said he is enjoying his new job, he's moving to a new place (remember how excited you were about doing the same) and he's planning to buy himself a cat, so sadly, I guess he considers Maple 'yours' now. Is he a big mask wearer, could all of that be a front?
Do you really really, feel that he is in a fog? I didnt think you had picked up on FB or from any of his friends that he is unhappy? Or do you feel that he is? What does your intuition say?
