Originally Posted By: gucci loafer
I can't speak for Puppy, but what you just found out is NO surprise to me. You wouldn't face this possibility before and then wasted all of this time "working on yourself".

Your WS is no different than most all the others on this site.
The difference here is that you just wouldn't consider it or look into the possibility that she was having an affair...

This is the exact reason that I tell people on here all the time that you NEED TO FIND OUT THE FACTS. You can't know how to reconcile or bust a divorce UNLESS you know what you are up against.... It is silly to have gone on so long and not look into this before much much more intently...

Shame on us for not pushing you more because the signs have been evident. At least you would be one year ahead of your pain and growth...

The only thing that I feel that I wasted my time on was my time trying to attract her back by trying to "date" her again. Everything else I would have done the same for my own personal growth.

I guess that part I should have to DB/reconcile would have been to confront her, but I would not have been looking to reconcile after something like this.

You guys should not be ashamed of what you have done to help. You tried. I didn't want to listen/believe in the possibility. Now my boys and I are further behind in moving forward, but we now have a direction to move forward.

I'm not going to waste my time trying to figure out how I can heal enough to reconcile with her when she still doesn't want to.

My new mantra is: FIDO - F*ck it and drive on!


Me 41
WAW 36
S 3&7
M 10 yrs
W files D 1/9/09
W moves out 4/18
Lost job 6/15
New job 7/27
Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!)
Confronted 8/11
Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11
Lost Job 11/13