No code, I understood what you meant. And OT I was not going to be acting on any of my "desires". Call me stupid or weak but I did go through that "get even" stage and was figuring "if she did it why can't I" and I did at one point have a situation all set up. I was at a party and this woman who I think has been interested in me for awhile had been drinking and I had been drinking and we talked and she wanted me to go back to her place to go "hot tubing" I told her I did not have a suit and she said ‘no suits are allowed in her hot tub. I was parked out back and was supposed to come around the front and pick her up. Well........I got to my jeep and I drove around the front and saw her standing there but something came over me and I could not stop.. I kept on driving and went home. (I was kind of embarrassed when I saw her again but I think she had so much to drinking that she did not remember it or at least she has never mentioned it) Yesterday was a great day in the city. Wife got really tired though from all of the walking around and so I did not push anything. When we got home wife wanted me to fix her and our daughter a margarita.(she really likes the way I make them, says they are better that any she has ever had in a bar). So I made them one and then went swimming with our son. A little while later wife came out side just to see how we were doing and I asked her to make me a margarita. She went inside and made one and then her and my daughter came out side and sat on the deck I make by the pool. She kept telling our daughter how much she liked the deck and how good of a job I did.(one of my weaknesses is I sometimes need to hear compliments on my work). So anyway tonight son and I are going out to the coast on last time before school starts to go camping overnight. Wife and son are still asleep right now but I did put a little flirtatious note in wife’s “delicate apparel” drawer. I think I have been afraid to really turn on the flirtation again after being turned down so many times. But when OT said if I am doing it to another woman why can’t I do it to my wife it did get me thinking. I guess it’s kind of now or never. The other night I was out playing pool with my nephew that just went through a divorce. I went over to his house first that has a for sale sign on it because he can not keep it and noticed his P/U truck and motorcycle gone. He said he had to liquidate stuff for child support. latter on during the night he did say how much he missed his family and then after some drinking he was telling me how this guy he knows that just left the bar was drinking all day and then just left to go pick up some dope. (I think he was talking about some coke and not the drinking kind) Then later since my nephew lost his license from a DUI he got about a month ago he asked me if I could drop him off at that guy’s house. My point in telling you all of this is my nephew that had everything and now has nothing. And I think he is turning to unhealthy things to not think about what he has lost. I DO NOT WANT THIS TO HAPPEN TO ME However I am afraid that my wife is just going along right now to keep the family together and if I do push for something more she will just leave. So that is why OT I have not pushed the “be come her lover” avenue. I am afraid that what little happiness I have I will lose. On the other hand I sit here and complain that I am not happy but I am not doing anything about it. So what OT is telling me is “either [censored] or get off the pot”
Ok I rambled on long enough. I know that things are so much better than they were a year ago but……I will fill you all in how tonight goes. I am planning on calling wife before bed time and “talk”
Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
