The first thing I did when I read DR was make a list of what needed to be done in order for us to overcome this... Not just things for him but for myself as well...
Some for him - absolutely NC with either exes, FB and MS closed, no secret email accounts, change his phone number, complete transparency as well as marriage counseling so we don't end up back in this same sitch 5 years from now...My trust is no longer given freely and it has to be earned back...
Some for me - Time for us alone...We always have one or both boys with us no matter what and never made time for each other...Patience is something I lacked and I have learned about rather quickly...Realizing he isn't here to provide my happiness, I provide that on my own...Forgiveness (though probably won't ever forget) is something I have been working on and to me that means not throwing it up in his face every chance I get...
I refuse to allow him to come back and sweep this all under the rug like it never happened...We have to deal with it together and only then can we move onto a stronger better marriage then before...
In my mind as long as he is still talking to the OW then all bets are off...
I get up each day, say my prayers, spend time with the little one and then off to work I go...
I am trying to keep him in the back of my mind instead of the front...
There are days I seem to pray more then I talk and then other days I just send up thanks for all I have...
I don't want to live in the past and hubby has a real problem with living in the present (always has)...
Something goes wrong and bam he is back to calling his old HS GF - From day one of our marriage this has happened...
Everything good and then a few years down the road and she is once again in the picture...
This has happened around 6 times (though no EA/PA) and I am tired of it...
This time he pulls his old middle school GF out of the past and took it way to far...
Somehow he has to work on that as well because I can't do this again...
I would absolutely break...
I tried to write myself a letter but wanted you to know that I have been unable to find any value in myself...I rack my mind and come up with nothing - How sad is that however I am still working on it...
"#4 is where some of them get hung up. Their egos can't survive what they've done, and so they move on to avoid the shame and embarrassment." My greatest fear in all this mess
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
