Okay, well things continue to improve. He's keeping to his word about the booze, and is gradually becoming a "normal" person. I just journal like crazy and that's helped with my anger, along with his consistency of being a friendly kind person. I used to say there was Good H and Bad H, and he's been Good H for a few weeks now. It's not that sickening stuff of oh baby I love you, sucking up garbage. He's just actually being a nice person. By that, I mean that he asks for things without ordering me around, he doesn't treat me like a child, he doesn't criticize, he asks about me and LISTENS to the answer, and he's quit being so damned irritable. He laughs. He doesn't pout.
I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop. You know, this big change in him finally getting off the Blame Wagon and getting his act together came right when I'd decided I'd live however I had to to get out of this situation. I never said anything and I don't think I was outwardly acting any differently...but voila, H has a change of heart. And I know from past experience that it's when I am happy and all is right in the world that he will pull the rug out from under me and have some kind of angry fit out of nowhere...that even he will not be able to explain afterward. So I don't know if I can ever really overcome that fear. But for now it's one day at a time and trying to live in the moment.
