...Whenever ex would write a letter slamming me, I'd look for the nugget of truth because it's always in there amidst upsetting words.
Gypsy,
I agree with what you wrote here because I think it's especially important for S14 to feel heard even when the message is buried so deeply in anger or venom...
Not sure if you noticed it, but I wrote similar sentiment to W above when I said:
"Yes, his sarcastic comments and biting (but not so witty) comebacks are hard to take. I try to listen “through” them to see what he’s really saying; I find when I don’t focus on the vitriol, I get a better sense of what he’s actually thinking… even if it doesn’t always make sense... it gives me more of an idea as to where he’s coming from than if I just scold him for the “packaging”."
I desperately want her to see that, too; I think a lot of it is a cry for help and a need to be heard, but she is so focused on the wrapping and how it hurts her, that he loses his voice which, I think, frustrates him even more...
If any of that makes any sense...
-AlexEN
New: What a Weekend
H-48 WAW-49 M-22 S-14,9 D-11 EA disc.-11/07 PA disc.-3/08 EA2?-6/08 to ?
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
How can you shake things up in a good way? Good for you, the kids, and your wife. Use some Moji mind tricks.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
How can you shake things up in a good way? Good for you, the kids, and your wife. Use some Moji mind tricks.
Not seeing a whole lot of ways...
Thinking it's going to have to come down to the realities of what the D is going to mean (and leading on the mechanics)... even then I have little reason to believe it will put a dent in the armor... So, I'm already dead...
Taking the boys golfing... Maybe I'll even bump into Puppy... And off to Michigan (again) for the day on Saturday... I'm good with that...
Any thoughts, Oh Mighty LBS-Whisperer?
-AlexEN
New: What a Weekend
H-48 WAW-49 M-22 S-14,9 D-11 EA disc.-11/07 PA disc.-3/08 EA2?-6/08 to ?
-video some of the golf antics and watch them when you get back with the boys -eat at a diner - bring back some matches from a new restaurant - make up a song with the boys - go play putt-putt/batting cages - talk to everyone you meet on the roadtrip - practice mouth sounds in the car (machine gun, car, monkey, mule, gas, cow, etc) with the boys - what's on your bucket list?
Coach ps Ten bucks says you call him Puppy to his face.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
- practice mouth sounds in the car (machine gun, car, monkey, mule, gas, cow, etc) with the boys
LOL: I'll have to get this started next time I am on a family car trip with kids and W.
One of my favs with the boys was pretending to do "bomb runs" in the car and "shoot down" cars in front of us. We used to run the checklists and make all the radio calls, the boys would and I would be pushing buttons and shifting gears. Of course we always "shacked" the target and became a ace every trip to the grocery store. We used to run the landing checklist pulling into the driveway. Now those two punks will be in college in a week. Used to get alot of strange looks wearing my helmet with the oxygen mask on and visor down.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Any chance she'd go to Retrovaille? Maybe under the guise of "even if we do divorce, this would make it less hostile..." which is true. But it'd also make the divorce a lot less likely.
H and I attended last weekend and finally feel the div is truly busted. So, I highly recommend it. Money won't stop you no matter what others tell you. They do ask for an anonymous donation at the end of the weekend but that's it. We gave a lot b/c we got a lot. And were blessed by it.
Couples with problems worse than yours....YES, worse than yours, lead the group and though there was no "public sharing" between the participants. But the team couples do share and have been through some serious "SH*T", yet they made it. They are happy. I thought "if they could make it through THAT, we can make it through our issues" which now seem small in comparison. H was also moved by the weekend.
Good luck, j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
