You just got another bomb dropped on you so regroup your thoughts and let your feelings out. First thing to do to get out of a hole is stop digging. This won't last forever and you can handle it. Don't reply to any communication from her today it can wait a day.
She wants to seperate then let it be all on her. She can move, tell the kids, and you don't have to agree but you will not stand in her way.
Take care of yourself and your kids.
Coach
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
