it's funny that whenever I decide to try to address anything with h regarding this r, it always seems to end up with h either stating that he can never do enough or that I am just plain misserable or unhappy.
Last night I tried to address the sex issue with h and once again got nothing more than "that's just the way I am" and of course those cold glares as if to say "you bitch"
I asked h if he saw any correlation or noticed that after he initiates intimacy that for the next few days things are calmer and I am more content...he said yes he did notice that. I then asked why then don't you keep the ball rolling?
I don't understand how h has any right to claim that he walks on eggshells when I am not the one who had a secret life or left...what the hell should he be afraid of???
I am at a loss folks...my h is never going to be like sage's or shiny's or talista's or anyone else's my h is himself and seems to be content to just be...actively working on a r is something not in his vocabulary other than doing things simply to assure the peace or cover his ass.
don't know what will happen but I'm not thrilled with things.
another funny (not so) thing is that h often used to comment that I was happier when he was gone...well gee h there is a correleation there too don't you realize that while you were gone you shared parenting..you were here at a set time...I had time for myself that didn't start after 8pm when I'm ready to crash??
I haven't had a friggen day off since h came home!! what a bargan..he get's to cheat on his wife, lie to her, leave her, and then come home and have his a$$ kissed.
while seperated sundays from 10am to 8pm were mine free to do whatever I wanted..go to mass, visit friends, go shopping etc. since h came home he's got to watch football or go to football games or do something in the yard so I am bound to the kids every day...
of course if I express to h the fact that I don't think it's fair the response I'll no doubt get again is...what did you think it would be like having kids....well gee h, I didn't think I'd be having kids in 1950 where the man is free to go do what he wants and needs to do while the w is tied to the kids every day unless she asks you to babysit and you only will if you are free!!
I'm inclined to tell him to stay home with the kids and his mother (since there's no way he'd do it alone for a whole weekend) in nov (when we are supposed to go away together) and let me go alone! cause being with him is just not worth it.
