Divorce not busted 2

[Orich]

Thank you so much for taking the time to catch up with me, cat. I have read your post, and this is what immediately hits me:

1. As far as the sexual frustration, yes it sucks and is difficult. However, I don't show any signs of it to W, don't want to put any pressure on her. I vent here, and get the frustration out at the gym. As a practicing Roman Catholic in full communion with Rome, I do believe it to be a mortal sin to bed someone other than my wife, so though I may talk about it here, it is not an option for me as I am trying to protect my immortal soul. I have discussed this issue with a priest, and have some new spiritual tools to help handle this.

2. You are right about detaching. I am finding this very hard to do. Every positive vibe I get from W I amplify and focus on. I am trying to stop doing that, as well as physically removing myself from her when possible. Again, difficult with my two young sons, but I try now to just take them out and do stuff with them. I am having a herd time doing things without her as we used to be inseperable, but with more effort, I should be able to do this.

3. I don't plan on confronting her like my co-worker suggested. I was in a pissed off mood when I talked to him, and it was a fantasy to think to do that. I posted it to help get that frustrated feeling out.

4. There is a little bit of unresolved stuff between ex and I. She actually DID cheat on me, and in fact flaunted it in front of me. If you think the way I am handling this sitch with my current W, you should have seen me then. Or maybe you shouldn't have. I was a basket case. That's another reason why I spend so much time here, avoiding mistakes I made then. Besides, I love my W 100 times more than I ever loved my ex. That is a fact.

If she is in a MLC, then from what I read it will be a long road like you said, and I don't think she is getting the proper help from her IC, so it could be even longer. But as long as I know there is hope, I will continue to stand strong. When I feel that there is no hope left, then I will call it quits and move on.
This isn't a fatalistic statement, and I only put it here to illustrate a point. Life here on Earth is flawed and difficult. The next life is perfect and a paradise. I will suffer through what I have to here in order to get there. HOWEVER, this does not mean completely giving up on life and just waiting. We are to begin to make the Kingdom of God here on Earth. God doesn't want us to be unhappy, but he does want us to trust him. I am getting closer and closer to fully understanding this and completely giving myself to him.

Thanks again for your concern and insight. You remind me that I have much thinking and work to do.

GMA: I understand what you are saying. I am sure they make her feel good about herself. However, knowing the person she is and the faith she has, I have a hard time thinking she would actually act on any physical urges with another man, especially a kid.