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LL -- wow. You've come such a long way on this path...it's wonderful that you could look back at these events and see them from a different side of things...

Use it for good, not evil though... no beating yourself up. never have to worry about me beating myself up over such things. I know that no matter what I did or said NOTHING warrented h's behaviour in return. I did however let h know of my thoughts. His response was that he didn't even realize it (suppose I'm searching for some justification for h's behaviour other than he just married me cause I was there and found "true love" with ow) and not a big deal it all worked out for the best anyway as he wouldn't have the time to do both jobs and have his family too.

you recently mentioned on my thread that I had changed so much from pre-bomb sage that I wouldn't end up "there" again. Right back at you, girlfriend. I hope that's true for me but sometimes I wonder if any of it really had anything to do with me at all or was more of h's own need to face some things the hard way?

Anyone else reluctant to post on LL's thread for fear of filling it up and having her leave? Don't answer me HERE! you're too funny! I'm sure it will take more than me not having my own thread to get me to go away!! I am considering starting a thread over in the ssm forum as that seems to be a big issue in our r and may have had some play in how things ended up the way they did.

Sage




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LL..how ya doin?? It is funny how things bring back memories..good and bad...like Sage said don't beat yourself up...we can't change the past..we do have the power and knowledge to change the things that we know need to be changed. I really think alot about what comes out of my mouth these days...you can't take things back once they are said. You have doen a tremendous job in learning all this.. thank you sue! I never was one to make many comments to h about anything, you know the "typical wife" statements like " you need a hair cut" or stuff like that...too much of knowing how it made me feel when my parents would make such comments so I refrained from making them to h most of the time, in reading here on the bb about men in mlc (though I don't know what h's "issue" was) I refrained from making any comments about anything at all unless to compliment him.

and yes...I will miss you if you decide to close up around here..but do understand if that is what you need to do. I may not keep house here anymore but I'm sure I'll still be around.

Sue



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Hi LL!!!!!

I had to laugh at Sage's last post...part of me DIDN'T want to post trivia for fear of filling up your "last thread"...but what the heck...you can have a "Last thread: Part II, can't you!!!
I could, but I think this'll be the last one here anyway as I said to sage, I might have a last last thread in ssm to see if I can't get some "help" with "that" issue.
I agree with the others, recognize that you could have been more supportive, but DON'T beat yourself up over this. After all, he really DID kind of abuse that privilege, right? I think he did that is why I had the I told you so attitude. Somewhere along the line I learned not to call in sick to work unless I was and not to just use personal days at a whim. All in all it worked out for the best that he didn't get back on. Asside from health coverage (h pays alot as a small business owner) he would loose alot, especially the precious little time he has with his family.

Well, lesson learned, guys have feelings too! who knew?!!

SOOOO glad things are looking better for you LL!!

Shiny



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I'm hijacking and hoping I'm not THE one that locks this UP!!
you would go down in history!
This is a lesson still being learned by me! I just always assumed my H never had any feelings. It goes back to when I was in grade school. Boys were always mean to me and I guess most girls, so I ASSumed that meant they didn't have any feelings, so it is REALLY hard for me to remember that MY H has feelings!! just because some don't express them all the time doesn't mean they aren't there. perhaps we should both pay a bit more attention to the whole mars venus thing

LL, I'll miss you!!! I'm sure you'll see me around here and there. I'm hard to get rid of, h tried and couldn't why should I make it easy for all of you?!

sorry I didn't get by your thread the other day, I don't always have a lot of time to read so often just post quick tid bits here and there on a specific post. I know you're dealing with a lot and trying to figure so much out, just hang in there and remember it's not always about us.

Cathy






LL who also doesn't want to be the one to lock this thread up so I'm consolodating and replying to everyone in one post!