Divorce not busted 2

[cat04]

O-

I have finally caught up on your 55 page thread. What makes you so special? LOL.

Listen, you are handling this ok. Go with your gut on the OM thing. It is easy for all of us to point out red flags and it is done because people want the best for you, but only you know for sure if there is not one.

Personally, I do see some sort of identity crisis at play here and that makes things difficult. But I see a lot of stuff you have posted lately that are more red flags and signs for you if you go back and read. Bear with me and I will point them out.

1. Your sexual frustration. You are a man and it is completly understandable that you are frustrated, but you have to figure out a way to handle it yourself or live without for a while or you are going to end up going down a road you don't want when the first pretty thing makes some sort of advance. Please really be careful with this.

2. You have got to detatch from her. In a big way. Yes your list of how you would be different. Do it. Now is the only life you have. You are still so worried about how she will react, what she will think, will this drive her out. If you want to go to the wiskey fest, go. Who cares what she will think? If your actions are doing no damage financially, legally, morally, then do it. You have to live YOUR life and let her live hers. You are so worried about what she is still doing and she is not worried about you. Sorry to say that but she is going to do things without being concerned for your feelings right now. But at this point, I see no direct evidence of her behavior being all that damaging either except it is not "normal".

3. If you want to totally drive her away, the yes confront her like your co worker suggested. But I don't think you want that. So as frustrating as it is, I wouldn't do it. Not saying you can't get assertive in your life but that would not be the way to do it.

4. Dreaming about your ex. Sounds like unresolves stuff. If you compare the two situations, not people, are there similarities in the situations or your reactions to them? How can YOU be different so that YOU know you have done everything possible and didn't simply give up?

The MLC possibility, as no one has addressed your concern from what I saw, have you read the resources? I have wondered it from your postings but refuse to suggest anything. We all have to figure it out on our own. But IF this is MLC, you have to expect this to be a longer road, with a lot of odd behavior, a lot of unanswered stuff, and stop looking for the magic wand to make this all better. It is a long hard road. You may want to post over in the MLC forum to see what others think. Patience, in either situation is required if you are going to stick this out and honestly O, you have to really find that within yourself.

You are doing well. Stand strong...(as one of my favorite posters says)