Hi LL, sorry you are feeling yucky after so much positive stuff. Chances are it is the head cold making you feel down as much as the anniversary.
Quote: I'm tired and this head cold is annoying the crap out of me...you can blow your nose or cough to clear your throught but what the heck do you do when a cold has settled in your ears? You drag your finger down the back of your ear from about the middle part down to where the lobe meets your face. You will feel a bunch of gunk shifting if you do this. If only it were that easy to shift the other kind of gunk!
take care
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
I have a suggestion about what to do for your cold...I have four kids and have three with chronic asthma, and allergies so the cold and congestion has been an ongoing issue in our house for 28 years!!!
This is a remedy my grandmother , and mother always swore by and I've used it on my little ones who had earaches so bad they couldn't sleep..........any ways, take a little (an eyedropper full ) of warm olive oil, canola or soybean if you don't have olive) and a small towel, and go to a comfortable spot on your couch, tilt your head so the OfFENDING ear is up toward the ceiling and drop in a couple drops of warm oil. Don't tilt your head!, keep it crooked and put the towel to your ear. and lay down with the oiled ear facing the ceiling.......stay there watching tv or just relaxing for about 5-10 minutes........then, when you get, keep holding the towel to your ear and up sit up slowly and sit with your eyes straight ahead and let the oil sort of flow out your ear and into the towel you have on your ear.......it's amazing how good this is gonna feel.......it helps with the congestion and is totally safe for your ear....your hair will get a little oily but hey, just think of it as a deep conditioner!!! the relief is fairly temporary....like a few hours but it can help any thing thats in there to get lubed up and to start moving..............this is what they used to do for ears before there were decongestants
I'm not a doctor or a nurse just a mom with a lota years under my belt!!
HiLL: i want to ask you something...?. had you said to your h your needs for more affective actitude...?!!... i am really similar as you in this point, and telling him that this actitude helps me to feel more sure and confortable with the R had helped me a lot...!1... now he is very very affective, even more than me, and yes, this helps me a lot not to think too much in the past, OW, etc...!!... i think it isbc al we had lived in our R, we need a greater dosis of affection and reasurance, and telling them this doesnt hurt anybody, specially if you focur your need to both of you, not OW at all...!!... andrea
put the cozy flannel sheets on the bed last night and in making the bed this morning realized that though I thought I WAS (pre bomb and ow) being a good w I wasn't.
The flannel sheets are ones that I bought for h when he was on the fire dept, the red ones with dalmations on them. As I made the bed I sat there thinking see, I've supported you in all you do, your work, your sports etc. Then it hit me. H left the fire deptartment becuase it was too much running his business and working on the dept. So instead of burning the candle at both ends and leaving little time for me he left shortly before we got married. It was a tough decision then and we didn't see eye to eye on it (Me mostly because of what my dad would think as he was the one who got h interested in the dept) anyway h left knowing that he did have the opportunity to go back within 5 years. Well shortly after we moved into this house h decided he'd like to go back to the fire dept. I was supportive but when his request for re instatement was declined I was guilty of giving him an I told you so.
While h was on the fire dept he took advantage of the personal and sick time that is given to them so that he could plow for his customers during the winter. Though the personal days are something they (ff's) are entitled to I always thought it not to be a good idea to use it (just my work ethic is all, don't call in sick unless you are sick whether you're entitled to the days or not) Well in reviewing his personel file the cheif looked at his use of personal days as abusive and declined his return. Though I was supportive of h pushing the issue and fighting to get back on, I did say " I told you so". and now I feel horibble. I know that this is not an exuse for what h did, after all he could have and should have said something if my words hurt him that much but I suppose that's not what people do is it.
well I can't change the past, all I can do is support h in his enevours and keep negative critisisms to a minimum.
btw I did let h know about the need for volunteer ff's in our town, he filled out an aplication but hasn't gotten around to a meeting yet so maybe it was best that he didn't get on the dept after all.
LL -- wow. You've come such a long way on this path...it's wonderful that you could look back at these events and see them from a different side of things...
Use it for good, not evil though... no beating yourself up.
you recently mentioned on my thread that I had changed so much from pre-bomb sage that I wouldn't end up "there" again. Right back at you, girlfriend.
Anyone else reluctant to post on LL's thread for fear of filling it up and having her leave? Don't answer me HERE!
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
LL..how ya doin?? It is funny how things bring back memories..good and bad...like Sage said don't beat yourself up...we can't change the past..we do have the power and knowledge to change the things that we know need to be changed. I really think alot about what comes out of my mouth these days...you can't take things back once they are said. You have doen a tremendous job in learning all this..
and yes...I will miss you if you decide to close up around here..but do understand if that is what you need to do.
I had to laugh at Sage's last post...part of me DIDN'T want to post trivia for fear of filling up your "last thread"...but what the heck...you can have a "Last thread: Part II, can't you!!!
I agree with the others, recognize that you could have been more supportive, but DON'T beat yourself up over this. After all, he really DID kind of abuse that privilege, right?
Funny, though, how sensitive our guys can be to some of our comments. Just the other week, in talking about my nephews new really short haircut, CJ said "but you don't like it when I get mine that short!"
And I said .."Well when yours is that short you can see your scalp where you're balding"...(true)
WELL...little did I know that I really hurt his feelings!!! ..I reality, CJ has a lot of hair for a 42 year old, and the receding has slowed a LOT (I still think it's low testosterone! ).
I didn't mean to imply that he's going bald or that I find that unattractive...it is just when it's a bit longer..it looks better IMHO.
Quote: Well, lesson learned, guys have feelings too!
I'm hijacking and hoping I'm not THE one that locks this UP!!
This is a lesson still being learned by me! I just always assumed my H never had any feelings. It goes back to when I was in grade school. Boys were always mean to me and I guess most girls, so I ASSumed that meant they didn't have any feelings, so it is REALLY hard for me to remember that MY H has feelings!!
Quote: LL -- wow. You've come such a long way on this path...it's wonderful that you could look back at these events and see them from a different side of things...
Use it for good, not evil though... no beating yourself up. never have to worry about me beating myself up over such things. I know that no matter what I did or said NOTHING warrented h's behaviour in return. I did however let h know of my thoughts. His response was that he didn't even realize it (suppose I'm searching for some justification for h's behaviour other than he just married me cause I was there and found "true love" with ow) and not a big deal it all worked out for the best anyway as he wouldn't have the time to do both jobs and have his family too.
you recently mentioned on my thread that I had changed so much from pre-bomb sage that I wouldn't end up "there" again. Right back at you, girlfriend. I hope that's true for me but sometimes I wonder if any of it really had anything to do with me at all or was more of h's own need to face some things the hard way?
Anyone else reluctant to post on LL's thread for fear of filling it up and having her leave? Don't answer me HERE! you're too funny! I'm sure it will take more than me not having my own thread to get me to go away!! I am considering starting a thread over in the ssm forum as that seems to be a big issue in our r and may have had some play in how things ended up the way they did.
Sage
Quote: LL..how ya doin?? It is funny how things bring back memories..good and bad...like Sage said don't beat yourself up...we can't change the past..we do have the power and knowledge to change the things that we know need to be changed. I really think alot about what comes out of my mouth these days...you can't take things back once they are said. You have doen a tremendous job in learning all this.. thank you sue! I never was one to make many comments to h about anything, you know the "typical wife" statements like " you need a hair cut" or stuff like that...too much of knowing how it made me feel when my parents would make such comments so I refrained from making them to h most of the time, in reading here on the bb about men in mlc (though I don't know what h's "issue" was) I refrained from making any comments about anything at all unless to compliment him.
and yes...I will miss you if you decide to close up around here..but do understand if that is what you need to do. I may not keep house here anymore but I'm sure I'll still be around.
Sue
Quote: Hi LL!!!!!
I had to laugh at Sage's last post...part of me DIDN'T want to post trivia for fear of filling up your "last thread"...but what the heck...you can have a "Last thread: Part II, can't you!!! I could, but I think this'll be the last one here anyway as I said to sage, I might have a last last thread in ssm to see if I can't get some "help" with "that" issue. I agree with the others, recognize that you could have been more supportive, but DON'T beat yourself up over this. After all, he really DID kind of abuse that privilege, right? I think he did that is why I had the I told you so attitude. Somewhere along the line I learned not to call in sick to work unless I was and not to just use personal days at a whim. All in all it worked out for the best that he didn't get back on. Asside from health coverage (h pays alot as a small business owner) he would loose alot, especially the precious little time he has with his family.
Well, lesson learned, guys have feelings too! who knew?!!
SOOOO glad things are looking better for you LL!!
Shiny
Quote:
I'm hijacking and hoping I'm not THE one that locks this UP!! you would go down in history! This is a lesson still being learned by me! I just always assumed my H never had any feelings. It goes back to when I was in grade school. Boys were always mean to me and I guess most girls, so I ASSumed that meant they didn't have any feelings, so it is REALLY hard for me to remember that MY H has feelings!! just because some don't express them all the time doesn't mean they aren't there. perhaps we should both pay a bit more attention to the whole mars venus thing
LL, I'll miss you!!! I'm sure you'll see me around here and there. I'm hard to get rid of, h tried and couldn't why should I make it easy for all of you?!
sorry I didn't get by your thread the other day, I don't always have a lot of time to read so often just post quick tid bits here and there on a specific post. I know you're dealing with a lot and trying to figure so much out, just hang in there and remember it's not always about us.
Cathy
LL who also doesn't want to be the one to lock this thread up so I'm consolodating and replying to everyone in one post!
no beating yourself up.
Don't answer me HERE! 
.."Well when yours is that short you can see your scalp where you're balding"...(true)
..I reality, CJ has a lot of hair for a 42 year old, and the receding has slowed a LOT (I still think it's low testosterone! 
LL who also doesn't want to be the one to lock this thread up so I'm consolodating and replying to everyone in one post!