Yea I am hanging in there. I am really tired of feel so up and down that I want to scream. I am expected to go visit friends a few hrs away for the weekend and I just know I will be no fun. But I am probably going to take the leap and go anyway.
I am so glad I delete the #'s it has made it easier to NOT call. I started to when I was driving yesterday and I laughed at myself as I remember I dont know his #... the I felt a bit of pride that I took control... and laughed, turned up the radio and sang. Not a pretty sound as I am tone deaf but I had fun
I am still waiting for my DB book. but I am seriously going to try to use it to get over all of this. As I look at things I know that i have been unhappy for years and he likes who he is and does not want to make any postive changes... so... I really think I need to give up on us getting back together and just make a life for myself. I am hoping the book will assist me in that as well, as it does seem to have many thougths on finding you and your happiness while trying to give the WAS their space.
I just hope that I can minimize the pain. stop being so up and down and get a grip!! If things are able to work out in the end that would be wonderful.. but I dont think in my sitch I can spend too much time expecting it to. Its not healty for me to sit and hope because my reaction is to get frustrated and angry at the time I have to wait it out and the things he is doing to make it worse.
so happy me is my plan for today.. but I know at some point I will get the joy of running into "Bipolar me" as the day unfolds. LOL
M - 45 1st marriage H - 45 2nd M -T - 14 yrs M - 13 yrs S - due to job location since 1/08 B - 7/6/2009 EA revealed -9/3/2009 began 6/09 E/A end 9/09 piercing: since 10/09 long distance
