put the cozy flannel sheets on the bed last night and in making the bed this morning realized that though I thought I WAS (pre bomb and ow) being a good w I wasn't.
The flannel sheets are ones that I bought for h when he was on the fire dept, the red ones with dalmations on them. As I made the bed I sat there thinking see, I've supported you in all you do, your work, your sports etc. Then it hit me. H left the fire deptartment becuase it was too much running his business and working on the dept. So instead of burning the candle at both ends and leaving little time for me he left shortly before we got married. It was a tough decision then and we didn't see eye to eye on it (Me mostly because of what my dad would think as he was the one who got h interested in the dept) anyway h left knowing that he did have the opportunity to go back within 5 years. Well shortly after we moved into this house h decided he'd like to go back to the fire dept. I was supportive but when his request for re instatement was declined I was guilty of giving him an I told you so.
While h was on the fire dept he took advantage of the personal and sick time that is given to them so that he could plow for his customers during the winter. Though the personal days are something they (ff's) are entitled to I always thought it not to be a good idea to use it (just my work ethic is all, don't call in sick unless you are sick whether you're entitled to the days or not) Well in reviewing his personel file the cheif looked at his use of personal days as abusive and declined his return. Though I was supportive of h pushing the issue and fighting to get back on, I did say " I told you so". and now I feel horibble. I know that this is not an exuse for what h did, after all he could have and should have said something if my words hurt him that much but I suppose that's not what people do is it.
well I can't change the past, all I can do is support h in his enevours and keep negative critisisms to a minimum.
btw I did let h know about the need for volunteer ff's in our town, he filled out an aplication but hasn't gotten around to a meeting yet so maybe it was best that he didn't get on the dept after all.
