CIPA, you have always been so level headed through all of this. I think the pain is getting to you. Do NOT spend 10K to change the filing. What's going on is between you and your W. It's not about W and the kids. They should be able to make decisions about their relationship with her on their own. You should say nothing to them, EVER about what's happened here. You should never refer them back to the divorce papers which are public record. Let them do all of that on their own. If you do this, one day they will resent you too. They will resent you for telling them about all of this. Let them figure it out....because one day, they will. All you have to do is fight for custody of them. My best friend....her parents are divorced. Years and years later she knows exactly what went down. Over the years she's figured it out. But her younger brother, now an FBI agent, did research into the divorce. He called my best friend one day, very emotional. In the state where the divorce happened, all the documents included how much money was spent for everything related to the divorce. In the end, their father was bankrupt....he spent pretty much every dime he had for custody that he didn't get. So all these years of my best friend and her siblings thinking their father was bad with money, came to a complete halt. He never told them. He never bad mouthed their mother. In the end, they respect him so much more.
If you are really going to do this, do it with all the dignity you have. I know you have a lot.
