Not to be alarmist, but if your H is stopping this this level for whatever reason, money, freaking you out, making you feel a need for a big strong H around the house ... It's sick. HE really needs help.
If this has nothing to do with him, and even if I hated my W, I won't take so lightly someone possibly posing a threat to her and my family ...
Me 42 W 39 Married: 11 Jan 1998, T: Since 1992 First Bomb: Sep 2007 Confirmed A/OM: 4 Nov 2007 Kids: D10, S5 Reconciled and together again after (alot of) time and heartbreak. 3rd kid, S, born 2 Jan 2010.
Yes, I know, he has shown some concern but not the level I would have expected.
Certainly no real shocked emotion in his voice. He told me that before he went overseas he would speak with security and inform them and get them to keep an extra watch - he didn't as I found out later. He didn't even offer this time to call the police just told me that I should ring them and report what has been going on. Then comes out with the admirers statement in his email. In fact the security guy and the police showed more concern for me than H giving me instructions of what to do if it happens again.
Don't know if it means anything or if it is just because he is in that place of only caring about himself at present.
A man's (or persons's) home is his/her castle (that's partly why As hurt so much eh?). Even if there was trouble in the M, an attack always warrants a reaction.
And even if he couldn't give a hoot about you, the things he DOES like in the house will still imply something more than the near nonchalance displayed ...
Me 42 W 39 Married: 11 Jan 1998, T: Since 1992 First Bomb: Sep 2007 Confirmed A/OM: 4 Nov 2007 Kids: D10, S5 Reconciled and together again after (alot of) time and heartbreak. 3rd kid, S, born 2 Jan 2010.
Well Deep, he has always loved his hi fi stuff, no one was ever allowed to touch it but him and heaven help you if you did, as that is no longer in the house he no longer has to worry about it being taken.
As I see it now this person who keeps coming to the house is not after the hi fi stuff, if he was, he would have got in long ago, since we are all out every day at work and school there have been many opportunities to break in.
I hope H is not involved but I guess the main thing is for me to extra vigilant now.
As you have seen I have had a very interesting and unsettling day. It is just horrible to think that if H is involved that you could do that to someone you have spent years with and supposedly love.
I have been sitting reading and re-reading many peoples threads and just absorbing.
Today I will buy a notebook and begin to write down my feelings, what I want from life from hereon in and what I will do to bring this life that I want about for me.
Had a look at a house to rent today, I wouldn't want my worst enemy to live in it, have to keep searching - I think that has affected my mood today as well, crappy, crappy day.
Oz - writing down everything you feel was something I used to do. I really should have carried on - hang on - I did - here
It truly is amazing how things do improve. You are doing a great job.
Just try very hard not to let small things build up into big things. Take 'em as they come, deal with them after giving some thought. And then shout "next!"
H has just called me, BIGGEST SURPRISE ON EARTH, hasn't rung me on my mobile to talk in weeks and weeks.
Asked how I was feeling, showing more concerned about me, saying he will drive the estate before he leaves for work of a morning to have a look around, telling me to keep the car door locked when I drive out of the garage in the mornings, it was the H of old that called me just then. Made me want to cry when I thought of how tender he once was toward me. Can't lose sight of the fact that he doesn't want to be with me now though.
