we arent in the same state!!

[ALJ]

Hi MaryEL

Thanks for stopping by and reading my sitch and for the kind words and advice. I am very guilty of what you mentioned about trying to hold on to H through conversations on the telephone. I don't call him unless the kids want to talk to him. When he does call us I try to keep the focus on what he is doing and or I start chatting about the kids. I never mention me or what I am doing unless he asks (which is rare cause the kids tell him everything that I am up to.) Pretty soon there is space and silence on the line and then I can sense that he is getting uncomfortable with it so I say "you better get going" or something along those lines.

I really have to work on ending the phone call first and not trying to make up for gaps in the conversation. It is hard for me though cause sometimes I want to cry when he hangs up because he has turned into such a stranger like we have not known each other for 24 years. One of our issues was lack of communication so I thought my 180 would be to be more communicative with him. DBing is such a fine line to walk so I have to make sure I am keeping my balance.

Enough about me, how are you holding up with your sitch? Have you been getting out and finding fun things to do? It is easy to just mope around and wonder what is going thru our H minds but we can't let it get us down.

Hope you are well