"I want to reach out to my x, ask him how he could do this, how he could have no second thoughts or regrets, how he could not care and left me for dead when I was suicidal."
1. Oh, come on. Of course he had second thoughts, he even went to MC with you. No doubt he even now has regrets about how he handled things.
2. He did not leave you for dead. You are not dead. Nor was he in a position to help you. Rather, he was the poison that was hurting you. HE COULD NOT be the one to rescue you, so let go of blaming him for not being that person. It is a tired refrain you play when you want to slip into your sulky comfort zone. And you damn well know what I mean.
3. Glad to see from other posts that you snapped back quickly. Wahooooo!!!!
