Still, I presume she will be dealing with some sort of depression issues on the way home.
Well, that depends on several things. If she thought OM was going to jump at wanting to get M right off the bat, then she may be disappointed at his reaction (unless he's convinced her that he's going to as soon as she gets a D, but that it will take time for all of that). If she's the type that can stay "high" on her A by fantasizing, then she'll probably be okay, but if she needs more than a fantasy, then she may be depressed. I think you are correct about her being able to leave her entire family to be with the OM. One reason is b/c she sees herself a being as if she's single again. It probably makes her feel younger, also. What she said to your BIL was a joke! She knows what lines to pull out when necessary, doesn't she? BJ, you said she only worked every other week for a couple of days. Please don't be offended by this, but are you sure your family couldn't make it without her income? If not, then she must have a high paying part-time job! I just think it is sad that people feel as if they are "forced" to stay together due to the economy. I still belive that she should have to foot the bill for her cell phone and anything else that enables her A.
I understand that you are very concerned about the welfare of your W, but in times like this, we have to put our children first. I know you are thinking of them all and that you love your family very much. It's so sad that your W does not see what she has.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
