H with 1foot out the door...LONG

[25yearsmlc]

Have not read your whole post as I lack the time this minute. But get to a library and read the Divorce Busting or Divorce Remedy book ( I recommend the 2nd one more IF you know you don't want a divorce) and get the book(S).

There's no way around that as you'll be lost a lot longer HERE on this site and IN your situation without reading them. Plus it smacks of trying to make excuses for not doing YOUR Work on the M, and trying to make this all about how he has to change and not you. The FIRST Thing to know and I mean KNOW, is that you cannot change your h..period YOU CANNOT CONTROL HIM and time wasted trying is time badly used, probably destructive..
Don't pursue, don't bring up the M or relationsihp and stop taking the temperature of it. Get A LIfe (GAL) asap.

But yes there IS hope and I did not think there was in my M, just a few years ago. And You will become a better woman for this, IF you do the work you can do ON YOU. No matter what happens.

There are 3 entities in a M, in my opinion. God is one of them, and you and your h are the others. By definition, if one ingredient in the Marriage changes, then the relationship changes, so YES you can make a difference all by yourself.

BUt do the work, now and stop making excuses for only coming here to vent and get "easy answers" b/c there are NO easy answers and yes I will read your thread tonight if I can. But try to stay on the thread so people know where to find you with any new developments in the sitch.

For the record I have 2 relatives who divorced and remarried their spouses years later. (They had kids.) I don't suggest it, but I can say it does happen.

And i did not have a lot of hope for my m and now I do. So that happens.

So, keep posting. You are in the right place and you can begin reading the book online for free if I understand correctly. But get that done. You'll get a lot more from this site if you do.

j-