The fact that you feel OBLIGATED to please him is a major part of why you are in this mess.
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Use lost whatever "connection" you had with him because it's become all about sex to him. There's no emotion... I use the term f*ck because that's what you're doing. It's not ML.
Both statements are very true, and I've known that for a while. We're not making ML- I actually shuddered at the idea when discussing it with my IC. I try to avoid the missionary position with H because it's too intimate- I'll go for positions that keep some distance between our faces. When I let go of the sex, it's all over. There's nothing left except for being co-parents, and we don't need to be together to be good parents. I'm OK with that.
So- my boundary for the next week at least- H is cutoff starting tonight until we see the MC. Let's see what this M really looks like. I can do this.
(How ironic is this? Most people here have the opposite problem- a sexless marriage but they still love their spouse. Sex is all my M has and my emotions are walled off.)
