I have come to the conclusion that my wife is in a full midlife crisis. Have been posting on Walk away wife as well under In Limbo. It has been 3 months of her showing all the typical signs of a midlife crisis. I have been in therapy since this started and have big strides in working on myself, doing GAL's, 180's, ect...She hasn't done anything except get a tattoo. Unfortunately, last thursday we had another blow up. Why--she gave me the bait and I took it and ran. I then asked the relationship question, where she promptly said yes I do want a divorce. I finally let out some things that needed to be said about her temper and why maybe I didn't hear her all these years. Her family and friends were afraid to come to her because of fear on how she would react. Her family and friends all think she is crazy for doing this. Anyway, right after she said she didn't regret anything she said, she tells me that she is switching therapists because the current one is leading her to seek divorce. Then she invites me to a fundraiser on our anniversary. I half heartedly accept. It has been 6 days since the blow up. I have been able to act happy for the most part(one of my 180's). However, she is going to the Cubs game this Friday. She could have got 5 tickets, but chose 4 instead. When I said I could have got off work, she said ok--I said that is ok, don't want to attend if wasn't invited. I feel this is a bit of retaliation. I have taken our sons to various funcitions the last 3 weekends. She has cut off all ties to my family and frineds, because she doesn't want to face them--I did make the mistake of talking to my family and my friends about what is going on with us.
Her big issue with me is that I was controlling all these years. "She can forgive but not forget." She needs to find herself, be independent, make her own decsions. She finally agreed to pay the bills so she can see what comes in and out of our house. I think that is helping her understand I wasn't as controlling of the finances as she thinks. This month's visa bill is $5,067.
Anyway, I told myself I can put up with a year of this mess. I am a little over month 3.
Why the invite on the anniversary?--I wasn't even planning on being home. Why tell me she is changing therapists due being led down divorce path? This is after the night before she says she wanted a divorce....
I dare not mention the Relationship word again. Learing fast that don't ask questions you already know the answer to.
d1,
Dude, this sucks, but it is what it is for now....
I know you have been reading 73's thread.....
I'm not gonna type that out again.....Not that I don't want to help you, just no sense in going through it again....
If you didn't get anything out of it, you wouldn't be here...
Originally Posted By: d1adsl5a
When I said I could have got off work, she said ok--I said that is ok, don't want to attend if wasn't invited.
Easy on the guilt there partner....That can kill you QUICKLY
Originally Posted By: d1adsl5a
Anyway, I told myself I can put up with a year of this mess. I am a little over month 3.
A time frame ? Really ?
That is a recipe for failure from the start...
This will take as long as it takes.....Let me ask you this...
Are you willing to give a couple or three years of your life to reach a fifty year anniversary ?
Ask yourself that and think about that for a while....
New Tat ?
Oh yea....Script....Right Trapt ?
Buckle up man .....and READ READ READ....
It is anti-DB, and yes, you had a backslide with the Blow-up...Learn from your mistakes and move forward...
A mistake is only a major mistake if you keep making it...
Dust off and get back on that horse.
Stop asking questions you don't want to hear the answer to..
Don't talk to friends, neighbors, mailman, third cousin twice removed, and all of that crap....
Surround yourself with only people who understand and support YOUR decision, and come here to vent your frustrations...
Take away all the buttons she pushes to create anger in you...She is looking to justify her position right now....
DO NOT give that to her.....
Use your anger as a shield instead of a sword...Deflect her crap off of you instead of lashing out at her....
