There IS hope. But don't blow it. You are here to learn and my advice is not to resist what a bunch of people tell you. It's one thing if there's disagreement and different approaches but your post is consistently filled with "BACK OFF!"s and you need to do that. "NO R TALK" no taking the bait, etc etc. Stop asking her about her feelings or the divorce and LEARN TO LIVE IN LIMBO AND for now, ACCEPT IT....it is better than divorce right now, isn't it? When it is NOT better than divorce, you'll know. Until that time comes IF it does, stop fighting that b/c a lot of us lived in limbo for years. If you can't, you'll know. But try to be in the now, for now. Enjoy what there is in the day, that you can... And read up on Detachment!
I think you are getting it. But yes there is hope. There are success stories. Is she open to attending Retrovaille? It's a workshop for troubled marriages. We attended it recently and found it pleasantly surprising and very very helpful. There are couples there who have had it harder than us/you and their stories are truly inspirational (I recall thinking, "Geez, if THEY can get thru THAT and be happy again, there IS hope for us too). And there is.
I mean it when I say that their stories are inspirational b/c nothing you've written has matched what they went through, yet they didn't just survive with their M's intact, but they learned to thrive again. It can be done. Don't blow this, DB your best. Protect your sons and if you can, reassure them as much as you can. They need that MORE now. No matter what.
(( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
