If anyone cares, I'm sad M and lonely. Yeah, it may sound pathetic or selfish but its how I feel.
It has been five or more years since she dropped the bomb. She still doesn't know what she wants. Some things that happen when you're in limbo for so long is you learn to remove yourself from the WAS feelings and sometimes others. For me I wasn't cold, just an observer. The stress of not knowing if she's going to be there in the future takes its toll. Worse is the stress I put on myself debating the idea of staying or walking out the door.
As a guy in my state the W has a good chance of getting the children and the house. As a result I've put off any expensive home repairs. Instead the money is used to get finances in order. I discussed with my W we would have to sell the house, but she doesn't have any intentions of parting with it.
A positive of being in limbo land is spending time with D11. The negative of spending so much time is D11 gets spoiled. I love my D but I don't want her becoming a spoiled brat.
My last though of being in limo is you learn to do things on your own. Going to the movies, out for a drink or just for a walk. I get emotionally upset if I think about my W or our sitch; so I try not to. This is where you can become selfish.
In my five years of limbo land I've seem friends get D and re-married. I've seen families get torn apart and people get hurt. I can't say if my W sees what I see or what she thinks.
