Quote: he says no and most of me believes him but dammit it's really hard to believe that a man would spend so much time with a woman, leave his home to pottentially be with, her to ask her h for a d...and NOTHING???? that's pretty lame if ya asked me...or perhaps it's pretty admirable..
I don't know if this is going to come across as some cornball phooey ... but I'll run that risk it ... from all you have posted about H, I picture him having a "code of honor" of more chauvinistic than these modern times. Today's "Sir Lancelot" if you will, but doesn't make him any less susceptible to human emotions. He may had once thought he found his Guinevere (sp)? in OW, but to his credit, he discovered he was wrong or discovered the higher road in coming back to you. From the traits you have described of your H, this does seem plausable and very admirable.
For most of us with S who had affairs, your H having such a code that has caused him to take a higher road than having a PA is a rarity and you have acknowledge how your H's actions don't seem to fit the common pattern here. I can't help but wonder if you trying to force your image of H to be just like the others here, over accepting that your H is unique.
Quote: Of course there's one other problem...when things start to feel "normal" round here I start to wonder why do things feel so "normal" again... ...am I being duped...
... but this "normal" now is better "normal" than before! There are differences now ... you have posted them ... I thinking, could it come down to you don't think the changes he made are here to stay?!! ... that they will stop after some period of time? ... that the momentum will eventually no longer continue in the direction of getting better? If the answer is yes, welcome to the club! ... but by being part of the DBing club, you have the awareness that at some point in time you will be able to accept that ... yes ... the good parts of this M are here to stay and as time goes on will only get better, because of what we have learned here!
Acceptence is key! ... accept H for who he is ... accept that you can make a wonderful life with him.
