I really feel for you in this sitch, but I want you to look closely at your sitch.
Quote:
His other big peeve aginst me- I don't tell what I'm truly thinking. That is admitted- it's a bad habit I got into when I was scared. Later when I would try to tell him what I was thinking, especially over the last couple years, I was repeatedly told why I was wrong to think/feel the way I did, and after awhile, it became easier to just say nothing and go along with the program. First I stopped telling what I thought and felt, now I don't even tell him what happens during my day. I don't have much to say except for family business matters. Bottom line for him, our problems are still all on me...
This is a classic form of mental abuse, anyone trying to tell you your feelings are wrong, is abusing you. Your feelings are not wrong. Feelings are feelings, simple as that, and you are entitled to your own feelings, whatever they may be.
Opening up to someone about your feelings and having them tell you they are wrong, is a subtle form of manipulation and control.
I never realized this, and take it from me, I see in the past how I had done this to my own W. I was abusive at times like this. That is the hardest thing to have to admit, but you must see it to be able to fix it.
Your H reeks of narcissism, and you ARE in an abusive relationship, in my opinion. I hope that he can see this at some point, and I hope your MC can help!
I do firmly believe that some of us can change, once our eyes are truly opened, and I wish you the best.
Quote:
If he feels troubled, he does a good job of hiding it, or he's in denial.
I would bet he doesn't feel anything about this currently. His actions and trying to get you go back into swinging make that evident. He does not see himself as 'in the wrong' here, as it's about him and his happiness. That's part of the narcissist code...
Boy, I wished I could just give you a hug, and commend you for the strength you have had to even start to do what is right for you. Keep it up!
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
