Where does your W go when she "needs her freedom"?
Detached means you let go of the outcome. Detached does not mean you are a doormat and don't set boundaries. Boundaries are when behavior is unacceptable. Knowing where your wife is going to be is not controlling, her response to you would be unacceptable to me.
You need to start leading.
She usually goes to her girlfriend's house. She has gone out to dinner with friends, hung out at a neighbor's house etc. For awhile, she was hitting bars and drinking A LOT. Thankfully that has calmed down. I have no idea where she's going tonight. If I were to ask, she would throw a fit.
I may know that it's not controlling, and you know that it's not controlling, but she doesn't. If I tell her my opinion, or ask her to do something differently she says that I am "coercing" or "manipulating" her. Powerful words. Fighting it does not work. I'm trying to "stop doing things that don't work."
Thoughts?
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
