I want my Monkey and Sheep Back

[beepee]

twistfigure: I would LOVE to learn how to play drums!

Stacy: very impressive list of instruments there! I took violin lessons when I was a kid and quit after 2 sessions because I couldn't get it right after TWO sessions and thought what was wrong with me! Silly.. And 28 feet of snow, that is absolute heaven for me!! Not the -50 F weather though, I've only experienced -30 F which was very hard because I had to walk 20 minutes to classes in it but I love breathing in that cold, crisp air!

Mishka: I can certainly see how much shorter my down days are but for some reason, I'm not doing very well today. I cried this morning when I woke up and had really bad anxiety which I haven't had for awhile and no matter what I did, I couldn't shake X off my mind. Watched tv, snapped my band, listened to music, nothing. He still stayed in place. It could be because of the dream I had last night. I dreamt he had another woman and the dream was so vivid that when I woke up, it really had an effect on me. Or maybe its the Trazodone. I was prescribed a months supply but I've only take it 3 times and everytime I take it, I don't feel too good when I wake up. Have to talk to C about that..

Wifey and Orich: I know a lot of my weight loss is due to my heartache but the thing that worries me is that in the past few days, I have felt very dizzy, nauseous and weak and my stomach has been hurting and feels quite sore. When I eat, my stomach starts to hurt right away and I've been getting really bad headaches too. This only started recently so thats why I'm worried and I think I should see someone because of the pains I'm having. I'm hoping its just me being paranoid but it doesnt hurt to go get checked.

journaling..
feel like cr*p this morning. Woke up at 7am but felt so depressed that I just turned the tv on, cried, thought about X, and then fell asleep again and woke up just now. Feeling bad both mentally and physically. I've got 2 items left to pack up and ship off and I'm hoping X sends out my stuff today so I can have it by tomorrow.

I want to start packing but have no boxes. Went to the local supermarket to see if they had any but they said they didn't until late at night when they restock and I couldn't head out that late as everyone was sleeping. Hopefully I can get head out again today and get some.

All of X's stuff are packed into my large containers and I feel like throwing everything out and using them for myself instead. But I can't do that, I have to at least give him a chance to come and pick it up. And I don't want to go through the process of looking at everything again. Too painful. I did sell some of his stuff at the market on Sunday though..Shhh don't tell him!