Exactly. This might be the wake up call she needs. Our sub-conscience works in mysterious ways just like the Lord. Could she have wanted to be caught? Could this have been a cry for help? Is she testing her "life-partner"?
Who knows? But this will definitely be a test for both of you.
Take it from someone who went through the exact same thing. It's going to take awhile for the hate and anger to go away.
Aside from the comments that everyone is sending your way, just remember this...you are still going to have to talk to her in a civil way because of your kids. You can't let them see you disrespecting her and as hard as it is, you have to take the high ground for their sake.
It was the hardest thing in the world for me to do and it took alot of detachment to do so. Let the anger and hate all out. You are entitled to them.
Have you talked to her yet about it?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
She knows I know. She called me tonite to try and drop more guilt on me. I just couldn't control myself as I told her that I knew about the other guys
She tried to deny it but then it got into a the details that I knew and I think she knew she was caught
I told her that I don't know what I'm going to do but she will hear from my lawyer and that I belive the boys need to know the truth
She tried to put the blame on me but I just stopped her and said I don't care what she thinks anymore as since she put someone else's penis in her mouth back in Nov, she had lost all right to put blame on me.
I just told her that I am done being blamed and that she needs to realize that I have lived up to my vows. She has now done the same thing her dad did to her mom and she needs to live with that.
She kept trying to flip it, but I told her that I will be back on Fri to pick up the kids and I will be going to CT next week with the boys. She can not stop me from going with the boys.
She tried to flip it again, but I just said that right now my priority is my family and right now, that only consist of my 2 boys. She is no longer part of my family.
I called my buddy to go to the house and he changed the locks for me.
Not what I wanted to do, but it is what it is.....
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
My lawyers said requesting a DNA test will hurt my cause so he suggested using an internet kit.
I don't understand unless your W has to be notified about it. Anyway, I do know one person who did that with an Internet kit and it workded great and sure gave him the peace of mind he needed.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I called my buddy to go to the house and he changed the locks for me.
Not what I wanted to do, but it is what it is.....
In my estimation it seems like you are desiring to 'stir the hornets nest'. And at the same time wasting your buddies time. It is not as if changing the locks suddenly turns your place into Ft Knox you know. If she wants in, she will get in ..you do know that, right??
Think more clearly cipa. Thses kinds of decisions show that the distorted thinking is most definetely settling in and throwing off your judgement. You have to fight off natural knee-jerk incliations that we all get. . Steer for the higher road man ..you have to for you and your kids. Don't let this be the beginning of engaging her in her bu!!sh*t. Rise above it man. There has to be one rational well -kept together parent. You are called to be that man..
I am praying earnestly and fervently for you and your's buddy.
now that I have looked back at what has transpired in your life over the last little while, I will be praying for your strength ...your strength to remain calm in the face of this storm. It is the devil's storm and with the Lord is where you are to take shelter for maximum safety and security. Like all storms, especially very harsh and violent one's ...it's apex will be on it's way in a flash.
You got my email skyjockey70yahoo if you care to make use of it for anything bro' and you have tons of support all around you. There are no surer hands than God's andhe stands ready to catch you lest you fall bro'
Keep your wits about you just keep things as simple and as undistorted and slow as you want them to be. You and the family as a whole will get all kinds of prayer support from me and others. like in any storm ..get hunkered down for max protection..
during this conversation...what was her demeanor? crying, angry, upset, self righteous?
not to be rude stronger , but who the heck cares what her demeanor was or anything else coming from her at this point. I know I don't (I surely care about the person to the max that I can for somebody I don't know) and I am pretty certain that cipa doesn't either. His focus needs to be on him and his boys entirely. imo
during this conversation...what was her demeanor? crying, angry, upset, self righteous?
She was not sad/crying or remorseful at all.
She tried to keep blaming me. She said it was creepy that I knew.
I told her that I do not care how she felt as she lost that right to judge.
She kept trying to justfiy it, but ultimately I told her that she is the one who did what her dad did to her mom and that's what she has to live with. I told her that I can ultimately tell God that I have always lived up to our vows and that is not what she can say since she put someone else's penis in her mouth back in Nov.
She tried telling me that she wanted a divorce so she didn't care. Ultimately, I told her that my lawyer will tell her what I want.
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
