thanks so much for the suggestions and words of encouragement. I will peak at your sits and comment later.. I have to work today and cant even find the motivation.
MotoB we got the same speach on the let momma run things.. Ironically that is part of the problem.. he is tired of me running his life.. lol although I am anal and controling.. if he wanted any part of the house running back I would have been fine. As long as things are taken care of I dont care who does it.. just that it is done... I am very spirtitual but no so much on religion. I am trying to find a church that works for me but that is a search that we had been on together for awhile.. but thats a different topic.. Yes.. Prayers are definately appreciated. I look to god for answers on what to do with me.. but every road I try to take hits a brick wall. seriously.. going back to college, I cant even get an appt to meet a councilor..lol.. change of job.. not looking good out there.. its almost comical but although I dont really beleive in them.. I have taken to reading my horible scope.. it says that I wont know who I am until november.. seriously, the emailed daily one liners is telling me this LOL.. then of course you all know that time heals all. So I am further depressed at the thought of being in Limbo for months. back to control.. yea I feel out of control. Go have fun and get a life.. who has the energy to do that when you are in a sit that sux!! ok enough of that!! poor me has to find happy me and GAL! baby steps!!
Bluerain.. I have been putting off taking sailing lessons for years. I have no real exicement for anything right now, everything feels like an incovenience, but I will make the call and schedule myself for the class!! Thank you!!
BTW the new car is the tip of the iceberg.. actually he does this every deployment. buys a new one a few months before and it sits in the garage and he makes the payments, then he comes home and trades it in a few months later. I have just let it go as we all have our personal wants.. But I did split personal finances years ago as he is a spender and I didnt want to be responsible for his bills. He had been doing pretty well keeping the ccds down. He told me that he wanted the D on july 6th.. by yesterday he had spent 10K on a ccd and another 5K in cash.. alot was gambling and also buying big ticket items. and the car was the final kicker.. . I hope that the courts wont make me responsible for 1/2 of this spending spree as my name is not on any of it??
I guess I have to decide if I really want to even wait this out. Even if I decide to take control (that word again) and file myself and move on, I have to wait the time until he comes back due to the miliary issues. Yea NOV would be that time..LOL
This board is really helping with the daily baby steps. I look forward to the postive changes for ME and know I will get their with all of your help.. Thank you for letting me ramble
M - 45 1st marriage H - 45 2nd M -T - 14 yrs M - 13 yrs S - due to job location since 1/08 B - 7/6/2009 EA revealed -9/3/2009 began 6/09 E/A end 9/09 piercing: since 10/09 long distance
