Orich, it simply shows what an unrealistic state of mind a WAW is in. That is why I keep repeating myself to remind you to not expect anything logical to come from her mouth or her brain! And, yes there is embarrassment but I think they try to sweep that under the rug as best that they can. I did not reach that point (where other people knew about my EA except for my H, etc.) but I would think that a WAW tries to glamerize everything with the help of her fantasy and thinks OM will be accepted by her world of family/friends and they will live happily ever after. Now, that part I did fantasize about.

I know I tell all of you this several times, but it is my way of trying to give you hope...I look back at how I was from where I am today and it so embarrassing! I would about die if others found out about it. I don't know who that woman was, but she was not the Sandi I had always been or that I am now. So, I'm trying to tell you that there is hope and that your W does not have to stay like this, but most of it is her personal decision. That's not to say your actions won't influence her decisions. It took me a long time.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!