#65 finally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[AliSuddenly]

I am not surprised you are angry, he was ADAMANT there was noone else. I think he really didnt want to lose you, thats why he lied so much, partly because he wanted his cake and eat it, but also (remembering what I felt).. that he genuinely didnt want you to leave him. BUT, he also wanted the excitement of the A and the reliability of his W who loved him. You said you told him...

"if you are in love, no use trying this, think of our kids, think of me and just lets divorce on friendly terms..." I must have said that AND mentioned her in specific for at least 30 times...

but the way I see it is, he wasnt in love with her. If he had of been, he would have been done with you and moved towards D and been happy. She was just an A... thats why she is going nuts, thats why he ended it.

Wierd, you said the monk said that he would remarry hey. Maybe its time to go see him again!?

It must have been awful to see all of those emails and pictures, those graphic images will stay with you, as you say. But I dont blame you for trawling through it all, wanting to know all the details, I would have too.. as justification, vindication that you were NOT going mad and your intuition was right all along. Still, if someone is determined to lie to you and conceal things, what can you do? He took control of you, in that you didnt have all the information you needed, now you have the evidence it frees you up to make good decisions for yourself and let him go.

Interesting what you said about the last 13 years being "sick" and not what love is .. remember what I said to you about Pluto? Going through your house of M for the past 12/13 years (now departed). Pluto through your 7th is, you are right, not what love is. Plutos form of love is about control, power, s*x, s*x games, subjugation, lies, taboos, dark secrets, depths, passion, infedility and... transformation. I think you are right to say you will never have another love like that again, that next time you will know. Remember the myth of pluto I told you? You were the flower thats been wilting and wilting and finally just been yanked out of its pot ready for a healthier pot to grow into !

Sorry I cant help more, wish I was there to lie in the sun alongside you and listen,
Love Al xx