Hey Harpo - Tough spell you're going through...I feel for you in a big way... Have you read the DB books yet? A lot of what they say is played out here - and offered here in many different ways - but it's useful as hell to read through those books and see what they have to offer...and then reread them...I found Divorce Remedy to be more useful - but either is fine.
Also wanted to say that I agree that it's time for you to stop wasting your energy on trying to figure out your W or trying to change her mind - you can only take care of yourself - and that's how you will take care of your kids - if, as the end of this part of your life, you and your W are working things about again - that will be great - but if that doesn't happen you have to make sure that you do everything within your power to improve yourself.
It's wonderful to see how much your children love you.
