There is a definite cycle that you have embarked on ... the venting ... the ranting ... the resentment builds ... begin to draw conclusions that this will not change for the better ... then you start to recognize there have been changes for the better and start to accept that the present sitch is more good than bad and even does improve a little albeit slowly, but when you do then you put in that little caveat at in there:
Quote: Things are going well...no complaints here other than I wish all this never happend!!
Seems harmless enough, but its what sets off the whole cycle over again ... slowly building back up again.
LL, break the cycle! The next time you post that all is good, leave off that last sentence. In fact, attempt to finish all your posts on a positive note and see if that can carry enough momentum to break the cycle. It may sound too simplistic, but when I got away from doing it, I recently caught myself getting wrapped up in the negativity of my posts.
Your mention of wanting H's arms around you got me thinking how CAW use to take my arms and fold them around her and lay her lean her head against my arm and just stand like that for a minute or two. For a while I didn't think that much about it or how important is seemed to her so she ended up doing it whenever she felt the need for it. It didn't dawn on me how nice it was to do that until she stopped doing it altogether.
So if you feel like having your H's arms around ... go ahead and put them around you. After a minute or two, turn around and look him in the eye and with a smile say, "Thank you". Repeat as often as needed. Each time he sees in your expression how that gesture makes you happy, perhaps one day he will start initating it. If not after six months or so, stop doing it. After a couple of weeks, there's a good chance he will notice he missing it and starts it up again.
We're creatures of habit and like with any habit it takes repeating a change for a longer than expected period of time to make it stick and since we are now working at making habits that improve our M's, why not work at having those arms of his around you? Does it really matter who puts them there at first?
Quote: been on this bb for an awfully long time...most of those that were posting when I arived have since left and I have seen several cycles of new faces come and go as well. I'll probably never leave for good but I will start posting less and less
I have much the same sentiment even tho I don't have quite as many posting as you, but I've been wondering if my remaining on this bb has much usefulness anymore ...
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