OK, so it's already late and I got to get up early, so I am trying to keep this as succint as possible, but I have a lot to catch up on....
So on Sunday last week, W calls me to talk about where the boys should go to school, in her town or just outside where I (we) live(d). I told her that I really would like for them to go to a school in "neutral" territory in light of the recent events (whole circumstances around her operation, see earlier in here). She then got really mad and said that I should just do whatever the he!! I want and that she doesn't care anymore. I was just talking calmly and asked what she had against the other school, but no real answer. Got off the phone and an hour later I get a text saying "email", so I know immediately what that's about. I check it and it's the same thing again: I am happier without her, she has been the cause of my depression, etc.. And then the new thing: she already went to an attorney for a free consulation and she now has appt for late Tue afternoon to draw up the paperwork. Also, she took something I had said a week earlier the wrong way. I had told her I had to file some paperwork for work which would take several months to process and that it mattered whether I was married or not at the end of the process. I told her that I was not sure whether I should file it or not under the circumstances. In her email it was clear that she took it as I didn't care about the marriage at all, I was just concerned about the paperwork... My actual intention when I said those things was that we were talking about D and I just wanted to let her know all the things that are going through my mind in this matter, all the cards on the table. It looked like she started writing immediately after we got off the phone. I call her so we can talk and I can explain about the paperwork and she doesn't answer, I leave a msg and she call me back 2 minutes later. We talked for about 90 minutes and I just calmly explained to her that I was trying to lay all the cards out and be totally honest with her: - I am not afraid of moving on, dating or being alone, but I owe it to the boys to try everything I can. - I always figured if she was so sure about wanting a D, then I figured she'd start the paperwork. - if she's sure now, then go ahead and see the attorney. - I explained once agian that I figured out how to make myself happy and that's why I am happier now, NOT because she's gone. - I've always thought that the feelings and thoughts she expresses to me are very similar to what I was thinking during my depression and so as she was mentioning that she needs to figure out how to make herself happy, I thought maybe she'd be more receptive to that now. I talked for a while about how I was feeling during that time and the thoughts I had about our M.
I am not sure, but I got the feeling that some of that stuff may have clicked for her. By the time we were done, she was completely calmed down and we calmly discussed the arrangements for school (no more arguing about which school or anything). I decided that apparently she's sure and she's starting paperwork, so that's it, so I took my ring off (hasn't been on since).
She called me on Tuesday afternoon whether to come pick up the boys and was telling me the dr. appt she just came from. Sounded like she's not been to the attorney. No mention of it since then either. Thursday at the school open house, she's all chipper and joking with me, telling me about all kinds of things. I think she may have noticed that I'm not wearing my ring anymore. On Sun, she wanted to have a fun day with StepS13, but I found out that the other guy was there again and went with them. Got really mad right then, but got over it pretty quick. Went and hung out with my friends at the lake yacht club. Was a lady there (pretty good looking too) that got divorced recently and is now dating this guy and she was saying how good it was to find a nice guy, with a house, a good job and no jail record around here. So that made me feel quite a bit better, apparently guys like me are in demand!
Sun night W calls me to say that she's gonna go look at a house on the other side of the square from our house. It's coming up for rent in Oct, so sounds like she's serious about moving out of her town (where the other guy lives also)... So we'll see.
Yesterday, she meets me and the boys at school for the first day. At night she was picking them up from me and called on the way, asking about my day with the boys. She brings me a cd with music she like and thought I would like (funny thought I had: pretty sure that other guy hates that kind of music...). On the way out, she mentions that she was just looking at our pictures from vacation a couple of years ago (the 2 only vacations we took just the 2 of us) and noticed how fat we were back then, how we both have come a long way from then. Today, she's called twice...
I dunno, but some things seem to be changing. But it's changed before, only to go right back to where it used to be, so we'll see.
