Well she's set on talking with the OM. So make sure she doesn't talk about him in front of the kids. She shouldn't have taken the kids with her in the first place. That should be the first boundary.
I would also make sure that anything associated with the OM be put on her dime. Internet charges, phone, etc.
detach and play with your kids. be the dad that they need because they obviously don't have a mom that they need right now.
You are going to have to let the stuff with the OM burn itself out. Don't think about it. No R talks. No money talks. Pay the bills you need to. If she won't contribute, then she has no business being in the house even if she is the co-owner.
I would still pack her things up and let her figure out what she is going to do. Heck she can go and move with the OM which is what she wanted. How dare she say that she won't "leave without the kids". That's what's a kicker about our WAWs and the kids. They go and have A's and make everything about them, and insist on having the kids with them as if they are the greatest role models.
Puh-leaze.
I think you really need to do that. Maybe there's a YWCA that will put her up for cheap. She's not your problem any more. She's the OM's problem. I think if you start showing how you aren't going to tolerate her behavior any more (in a calm fashion) she'll start respecting you more.
That's what it comes down to. Respect. She's giving the OM more respect than she is you. How does that feel? Pretty crappy doesn't it? How do you get respect back? Put your foot down.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
