In the times when I start losing attraction again, I ramp up the flirting even when I don't feel like it.
It throws her off, but she hasn't had a negative reaction to it.
That's a good idea. I will have to try it.
I wonder about this myself at times, I suck at flirting for sure, but I need to get past that.
Funny you guys bring this up tonight, I was standing next to my W tonight in the kitchen and had this same thought, so I lightly brushed her shoulder with my hand and picked up some of her hair and smelled it, and told her her hair smelled great.
She didn't flinch, or turn around and punch me out, so that must be a plus..
GIMA, keep at it man, your words and thoughts have helped me out.
It ain't over until it's over!
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
I adore Alton Brown. He has a microwave peanut butter fudge recipe that H positively raves about and it's pig simple. I was going to make that this time before the cobbler idea hit.
I've also made his buttermilk fried chicken and while I liked it bettter with Emeril's essence as a rub instead of Alton's, the rest of the recipe is my gold standard now.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
I've also made his buttermilk fried chicken and while I liked it bettter with Emeril's essence as a rub instead of Alton's, the rest of the recipe is my gold standard now.
Oh man Dia, I am hungry now!
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
I adore Alton Brown. He has a microwave peanut butter fudge recipe that H positively raves about and it's pig simple. I was going to make that this time before the cobbler idea hit.
I've also made his buttermilk fried chicken and while I liked it bettter with Emeril's essence as a rub instead of Alton's, the rest of the recipe is my gold standard now.
I love his show, but we have not tried any of his recipes yet.
And, like IWITW, I'm getting hungry again too. Thank goodness I went crazy with the workout at the gym tonight.
Well start off with a hug. My W was hesitant at first, but hey, you gotta start somewhere. I think as a H we get so afraid of the reactions of our WAWs that we forget to be MEN.
Sometimes we have to just grab our nuts and go for it!
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Well start off with a hug. My W was hesitant at first, but hey, you gotta start somewhere. I think as a H we get so afraid of the reactions of our WAWs that we forget to be MEN.
Sometimes we have to just grab our nuts and go for it!
I believe my situation may be going in the right direction. We had a mini family vacaton this past weekend where my W completely arranged everything. She's really trying to make our relationship work. No hugging or kissing yet, but I'm working on it.
This weekend, we are going on our first date in nearly six months. I'm handling all of the arrangements this time. I stated to my W that if we're going to try to make this work, we need to date on a regular basis. In addition to weekly dating, I proposed that we take 30 minutes out of each week to go for an evening walk without the kids. Our babysitter lives next door, so this should be convenient for us.
I have been reading "Light Her Fire" to find suggestions on repairing our marriage...hope it works. W is still reading "Five Love Languages" and told me that her language is "act of service." I had a feeling that this was the case. If you know your wife's language, use this information to your advantage...speak to her in this language.
Now enough about me...it seems your W is still in the "fog." I am a firm believer in Gucci's theory on snapping the WAS out of their funk. I suggest reading some of his posts. The fact that our wives never left us tells me that they always had reconciliation as a goal...they just wanted to see if we would actually change. So keep "fixing" yourself.
Keep focusing on you! -LFH
ME: 38 W: 35 D2.5 and S5 Married 12 years Separated (same house, different rooms) INILWYAM by W: 4/16/2009 The day W requested a D: 4/17/2009
I ordered "Light Her Fire" last week, and I'm waiting on it to arrive. I picked up "No More Mr. Nice Guy" tonight and can't wait to get started on it.
I read "The Five Love Languages" a month or two ago, and I think my W's LL is acts of service.
As for jolting our W's back to us, I think you are right. I have read a good many of Gucci's posts. My C and I even discussed this today - that if W does not bring up R, I may have to before my feelings for her are gone. Otherwise, I may be the one leaving.
And another similarity - we just came back last week from a mini vacation to Disney with the kids.
I have also wondered if W would have been willing ot pull the trigger on leaving. I think she would have, but I also did not (and don't) believe she had convinced herself I could not change.
Another thing I talked to C about today was never allowing my M to get routine or boring again. That means dating - new restaurants, new experiences, and time just for us.
I am happy to hear youur sitch appears to be headed in the right direction.
Good morning today. The kids wanted to ride the bus this am, so, W and I got them up and ready much earlier than they (and we) are used to.
I'm working on picking up tickets for the "Good Eats" taping later this month. My W (and I) are big fans of Alton Brown (Food Network), and I think W will be pretty excited to go. I am going to surprise her with the tickets in a week or so (or should I wait until the last minute? - I am arranging the sitter too).
Just started "No More Mr. Nice Guy" last night. And, yes, I fit the description of the "Nice Guy." I think this is going to be a pretty good one and should help a great deal.
