my sitch? shoot... anger, anger, fear, fear, name calling, blame, blame, blame... H is just now starting to settle down... after the restraining order, and after domestic violence classes (from which I, not H, have been transfered to normal therapy). There wasn't any physical stuff, but the threat was horrendous.
three long hell-spawned months in which i've simultaneously felt as bad and as good as i've ever felt in my 12 1/2 years...
so, yeah... the D proceeds
i met eom and when faced with the potentiality of a new "R", said "whoa!!! time OUT!"
i wrote this poem today:
Nigh end travesty…
The flaccid truth lie bare
and divine
We fail and move on
our cheeks stained wet
with contemptuous regret
still bruised where
false hope smacked hard
The stars have fallen
yet orbit my ankles
where I cautiously pine
for the thermal to lift
so I might
continue with my conviction
that I was right
And I am afraid for my future
the security normal living
so aptly provided
and slowly raise fingertips
to the swelling
where false hope smacked hard
He could cry at my feet
for a month
where the truth lie placid
and divine
and I know it would remain
While things changed
and stayed the same
Where I would only need
when absolutely necessary
Anyway lostlove... i most sincerely hope for cupid to come smack your H upside the head making him realize he will NEVER have a woman so willing to love him... and that that's worth changing at least enough to show you he appreciates it. Men are a most curious creature, are they not?
Take care on your Journey. Get yourself tons of day spa treatments, foot massages, manicures... whatever it takes so when your job is done you don't feel like you lived your life for some lesser ambition...
A ship is safe in the harbor, but that's not what ships were built for...
Good Luck (and many many many thanks for reaching out to me in my time o' need)
Peace my dear.
Word to KIP, Floyd101, Jethro, Sage, randyH, and WillWin.. (i hear you gotta g/f )
No time to check on y'all sitches, but if'n you read here, I wish you all harmony at home...
)
