Hi, although my W isn't located out of the state, I'm DB'ing with a restraining order put into place between us. I really feel your pain... and I'm with you 100% when you wonder just how they will see it? I was reading your sitch, and your H and I had a lot in common, I too am in the military, and when I was in from sea, or deployments I wanted to be the great guy that the kids loved, not so much a disciplinary figure, or a participant with the daily rigors of having a family and home. I know that's not exactly what you meant with your H... but for a long time when I came home, it was such a brief stay that I got into that "visiting" mode. This really hurt my R because I didn't really ever transition back out of it. I can remember one post deployment meeting where they were telling us that we had been away so long to not go home and change things... let momma run it like she had been. Well I kinda lived by that mantra. It wasn't till last December that my W finally voiced her displeasure with how I was and I changed, but the damage was done and when a huge tragedy happened in our family in March, she really started detaching. I got desperate and became ultra insecure and well you can probably figure out the rest, by July she was gone. She filed for D, and hit me with a RO to get me out of the home. When we went to court for our initial hearing she offered to drop the RO but the judge declined(in part because of MY deadbeat lawyer, and also when a woman alleges violence the court doesn't take it lightly) and put it in place for a year(expires 15jul10)so there's me in a nut shell. I do see her on Saturdays to exchange our 10yo D. So I guess I do have a very(and I mean very) small leg up on you. Feel free to check out all my sitch, and Ill, keep and eye on yours... I don't know if you are religious or not, but you'll be in my prayers. Your not alone, and the people here care... like I said check out my sitch, there has been some awesome advice given to me there... wish I had more for you, but I'm a DB baby like you too.
ps your not the least bit crazy for feeling this way... its being depressed. My counselor has told me that our sitch is worse then if our spouses had actually passed away. I don't know about that, but yeah it for sure screws you up! Good Luck, and stay Strong... B.
