Divorced what to do now

[lost fireman]

I cant believe how incredibly hard it is not to contact. or why I would even want to the way she treats me.

I read D.R. cover to cover many times yet did not heed the advice.

Thanks for yall comments. I am going to make it an absolute top priority not to contact unless its about my boys.

[MrBond]

My W was on her way to moving to the next level with him. So when I found out, I promptly kicked her ass out and told her that she can live with her "married" boss and I am going to keep the kids with me and make sure she sees them as little as possible as I didn't want them to live with a liar.

Well she turned around pretty quickly but still blamed me for everything. I made her return everything he ever got her. That was my boundary that wasn't going to be crossed.

[lost fireman]

Thats what i did. I kicked her out to. But she still had the kids half the time. And adamantly denied the affair. I wish I knew then what I know now. I have exposed it all to family and close friends. so we will see what happens. I really thought I was a stronger person than this.

[MrBond]

We S and I let her have the kids half the time. I made sure to stay busy and went out and GAL as much as I could.

When the WAS leaves us, they leave our self-esteem in shattered pieces. What you need to do is get that self-esteem back. Think of it this way...YOU are the better person. YOU aren't cheating. YOU are who the kids will look up to. The next person you go out with is going to be lucky to have YOU.

Let's face it. Your W doesn't really have the OM. He's married, end of story. So she gets him a portion of the time. You, on the other hand, have a marital history with her that has become dulled due to the fog she's in.

My W is living at home again and we get along great, platonically. If she one day tells me that she's leaving, I'm detached enough that I could laugh at her face and tell her to go ahead because I KNOW that I'm the best person she's ever going to have. Only I would go through all the abuse that she put me through and still stick around by her side. I have my self worth back.

It's time to get yours back.

[lost fireman]

Thanks, I needed that. and I am going to. and I know I am the only one who would put up with what she has done.But days like these last few I wonder if it will get better. I really dont think she will ever be back, and I really dont know if I could get over it. I would like to think I could.

[MrBond]

"I really dont know if I could get over it."

Start by not saying crap like that.

Just think, oh well, life's too short. I have my health, my kids who love me and that's all that matters.

One day at a time my friend. Prayers to you.

[lost fireman]

You are so right and I appreciate the prayers. I started sessions with a christian counselor last night. I thought I could get thru this on my own, but obviously I cant, I have got to start enjoying life again for my kids. They have not been able to race all summer and they are devastated.