Agh! He's detached completely!

[IWillSaveOurMarr]

Hi. I'm teary once again, this tims it's cause a family member is being really, really unflexible. I've got a wedding to attend, yet again, this weekend, and I need to go. I was initially planning on attending alone, but then Gizmo said he'd go with me, so I RSVP'd for 2 of us. He bailed on me the other day, which ticked me off, and I was so embarrassed that I called the bride at her work # late at night so I wouldn't have to talk to her directly, and left a message saying that it would only be just me at the wedding. Then, my sister, who just announced very recently that she is pregnant, ripped into me on the phone for even wanting to attend the wedding with someone else. I attended a very close friends wedding just 2 weeks after he filed for divorce initially, and managed to hold it together from one hour before the wedding (cause I was helping set up) all the way through till after the first bunches of dances started.

During the dances, they did the "anniversary dance", and my H and I would have "won" for being the shortest marriage short of the bride and the groom. It felt like 16x the DJ said "All married couples on the dance floor", to get everyone dancing. I left shortly thereafter, because seeing the married couples dancing was just too hard to take. I had tried to brace myself for the wedding, and even watched the movie "Father of the Bride" at her bachelorette party, which got me a little verklempft, but hadn't realized seeing couples dance would get me so upset, but it did. So, I was a trooper, and lasted most of the day, and was proud of myself for having gone to it and survived intact.

I knew I could survive this one fine going alone, but I just thought it would actually be fun to go to with someone else. I just wish he wouldn't have said yes to going in the first place.

Also, my sister, although married and never divorced, is apparently the worlds expert on divorces now, and she is advising me to "take whatever he offers", as far as my h's ridiculous offer of first month & last months rent instead of waiting for the long court divorce to proceed. She was literally snorting at me saying I'm being "ridiculous" for asking for a damn thing.

This is especially hurtful because I'm being uber supportive about her pregnancy, and meanwhile, I'm years older than she is and haven't ever had a child, and am getting a divorce right now, yet I've not said one negative thing to her or even mentioned jealousy that I might have or anything. Nope. Instead I went to a few garage sales (all I can afford right now) and got them some nice baby clothes and stuff, and in fact just went to a thrift shop and got some lovely stuff that's in immaculate condition as well. I had fun shopping for the baby, and am truly happy for her and her H, but I am really disappointed she can't even allow me to enjoy the few things that really make me happy at this point, like shopping for baby clothes for her baby (it's too big/small, wrong season, etc), no matter what I got and some of it's not even for her, it's for my brother and his wife, who are expecting their first child in a month.

I just really don't need the critizism right now because I'm going through enough as it is. I'm busy trying to do all the work stuff that I have to do to get my job back, but that's not coming easy either, as I need to enlist the help of other people, outside my control, to get their cooperation as well. Plus, that meant yesterday I had to tell this miserable story to someone else yet again, and that I can do without, but I felt it necessary to give some explanation for what is going on.

I'm sick and tired of feeling stupid and made a fool in this whole matter. I just don't have the energy to deal with this bs anymore and so wish I had my husband on my side helping me instead of having him be yet another combatant I'm forced to "fight" in this war that is my life and now includes my divorce. Fun fun.