Hello Kittyfish & Sandi2!

[MrBond]

Okay, first off, it doesn't matter a single bit what anyone else thinks. Only what YOU think. You make yourself feel strong and confident in knowing that you are doing what's right. It's the exact same thing she's doing. She's doing what she feels is right.

Anyone who goes through DB knows what it's like. No one else. Don't look for validation from anyone else but yourself. We've all been there.

Like so many others have told you, you need to detach. The more you pushed for her to "see reason" the more she became set in her resolve to do her own thing. Think of her as a teenager (which is what they say people in MLC are like). When you tell a teenager they can't do something, they'll do everything they can to show you that they can even if deep down inside they know they can't. It's a process.

In a scenario like that, do you let the teenager dictate how you should act? Of course not. You do what you think is right and let them go out to fail. If they insist on getting a car, yet you know they are a lousy driver, you don't tell them they can't drive, you take your name off of the insurance and put it in their name.

Like the article said that I posted last week. You have to let them come to grips with their own decisions.

So if you knew that she was leaving on this trip that could potentially bankrupt you, you should have set a boundary of not letting her get to your family's finances. Cut her off. Tell her if she wants to continue to spend, then she has to earn her own money.

Better yet, since she crossed your boundary of her not seeing the OM, I would pack her bags where she can find them waiting for her when she gets back.

There are times when you take the Nice Guy approach, then there are times when you take the hardline. Like DB says, do what works. While they're away, write out what worked and what hasn't. Come up with a plan and execute.

Remember you can't control her, but you can do something about what YOU want. Stop her disrespecting you. Start showing her that you've got the balls in the family not the OM.