I've thought a bit about your sitch in the past couple weeks, and the words you are using....
It feels to me that you have given your W too much power over your emotions. I'm feeling codependency. Remember that you are a complete person with out her! I think that two together don't complete each other the was the romanticists write it, I think they completment each other so that together they can be greater than two individuals. But that does not mean that apart you are less of an individual, if that makes sense. Sure, you can do things as a team that you can't do alone, but that doesn't mean you are not complete by yourself.