after going 90% of the way towards first home purchase of one that I was at one time extremely excited about, I bowed out of the deal today.
throughout the whole process I had pretty much no center, no balance, no second set of eyes. the pressure that was all consiming during the contemplations of this monstrous decision seems to be abated now.
What it all means ..I have no idea. Just trying at every possible turn to follow His leading. Even though I have been using less than term of endearment towards Him.
Still praying though!? Like any father there are highs and lows & surely tensions.
just waitng for the next weight/trial/test of moxy. I good bit of anger has been pulled off of me but I have yet to sense what it has been replaced with. Still a void ..I am. vacuum
